Why I think I am the Way I Am

Life is tough. I spent the first 47 years of my life as an overweight and shy guy. I was what some of you would call a loner. I did not want to associate with anyone and wanted to be by myself. Part of it was due to a lack of confidence in myself. Another part was the fact that I would go through bouts of depression. The depression wasn't so severe that I could not bounce back, it was just feeling sorry for myself. I never contemplated suicide, but I did consider running away and leaving no trace.

In High School I did the things that were expected of me, I went out with the girls, I joined the Boy Scouts I tried to socialize with other students. But one thing kept coming back, I felt I was being the butt of everyones jokes.

I worked hard throughout my life. I found a job with AT&T and worked there for 30 plus years. I was never good at taking care of myself, but I could take care of others. In my mind I did not matter. That was until work sent me to therapy because of an emotional outburst I had. The therapist told me that I took on too much and never did anything for me. I needed to let my inner child out to play once in awhile. Easier said than done, but I tried.

Life went on on with it no change in my personality. Then on September 26, 2006 I had a rebirthday, I went under Gastric Bypass Surgery. I lost about 250 pounds and started to feel more confident. For the first time in my life I set aside what other people wanted me to do, and started to do the things I wanted to do. But I found with the weight loss I started to forget things in the short term. Then the most wonderful thing happened in my life, I started to talk to this wonderful woman on line.

It turned out she worked one floor above me and had for a long time. We started dating and fell in love. We married on August 18, 2007 and I'm very happy and thankful I have her in my life. She has two wonderful daughters who have a hard time understanding me and are starting me back on my downward spiral. They have no respect for me and can do nothing but criticize and joke about me and that makes me upset. They need to realize that I have 50 years of habits that I am trying to break and each time they make a comment that upsets me it's a step back. I work with positive reinforcement not the negative that they keep sending out.

I love these two like they were my own, and I respect them but I think I deserve a little respect. I would do anything for my family and if they ask for something I will give it to them if I am able. All I ask is don't point out the flaws in a person, point out the strengths you will go farther in your relationship.

What is a Middle Aged Teenager

According to Wikipedia: "Middle age is the period of life beyond young adulthood but before the onset of old age. Various attempts have been made to define this age, which is around the third quarter of the average life span of human beings. According to Collins Dictionary, this is "... usually considered to occur approximately between the ages of 40 and 60". The OED gives a similar definition but with a later start point "... the period between youth and old age, about 45 to 60". The US Census lists middle age as including both the age categories 35 to 44 and 45 to 54, while Erik Erikson sees it ending a little later and defines middle adulthood as between 40 and 65."

Teenage is the period of life between the ages of 12 and 20. So a middle Aged Teenager would be an oxymoron as the two cannot exist together in the same person. However there is an old adage that states, "You're as old as you feel." Some days I feel like I'm 15 or 16 other days I feel like I'm my true age of 50. Those are the days when you feel the aches and pains of age. Bones creaking and the like.

One reason I feel young most of the time is I let my inner child, and all of us responsible adults have one, out to play. this Blog I hope will be found humorous at time and insightful at other times. It's going to be about me and my life. I welcome all comments and only ask that you keep them family friendly as you never know who is reading them.

I will be updatng this tleast twice a week maybe more. So until next time, as Roy Rogers used to say: "Until next time, happy trails and may the good lorsd take a liking to you."